Lifestyle with Abby Lane

Setting personal goals can be challenging. We tend to be persuaded by what others are doing in our personal life or social media. Also, its common to see people identify large generic goals and throw themselves fully into it for a few days, weeks or a month to just realize it’s not sustainable and feel poorly about themselves for not “sticking” to it.

When we set ourselves up with unrealistic goals, we’re really setting ourselves up to feel shameful, disappointed, and stuck. When I noticed myself engaging in this cycle I decided to really step back and look at what was going on, and these are a few things that worked for me for recent goal setting. A few goals I have reached (not perfectly, but habits have changed) are waking up earlier, moving my body, getting out more with my kids, and finding cozy hobbies. Here are a few things that helped me:

1. Identify what isn’t working, and why it’s not working. This isn’t about beating yourself up, negative self-talk, or shaming yourself. This is just being honest with yourself. For me, when I woke up with my kids or RIGHT before them I always felt rushed, it put me in a bad mood right from the start, and I didn’t take great care of my needs in the morning. So, I identified my why.
2. Start small, really small. Within the goal of waking up early, I knew that if I started setting my alarm clock for 5am I might do it for a day or two, and then just sleep in until my kids woke up out of pure exhaustion. So, I started small and pushed my alarm back by 5-10 minutes at first. This eventually got me to waking up at 6:30 (my original goal) and I am hoping to aim for 6:00am this year. Because it didn’t feel overwhelming, I was able to stick with it and feel as if I accomplished my goal- even when it was only 10 minutes earlier.
3. Seek support. Whether this is a friend, a colleague, or a family member; having someone on your side or supporting this goal is helpful. With the goal of doing more with my kids outside of the house- I found this easiest when I had friends with kids the same age holding me accountable by expecting me at a play date, or a class that we paid to go to. It eventually turned into a routine and made outings much less cumbersome and more enjoyable.
4. Give yourself a break. Finally, recognize you might need a day that isn’t about your goals- you may just need a break and that is okay. Just because you sleep 45 minutes past your alarm or stay in the house all weekend doesn’t mean you haven’t reached or maintained your goals. It means you’re human. Be mindful of negative self talk that might creep in and hinder you from picking back yourself up the next day.

I’d love to hear, what has helped you reach your goals recently?